Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize