seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
