No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
