So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Someone came in the potted fern
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
