It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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