well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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