Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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