Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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