i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
