I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
