Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
