You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
