i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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