Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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