We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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