Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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