Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
