is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
