Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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