He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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