Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
