they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
