dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
