You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
