Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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