I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
