i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
