Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
