Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
