Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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