Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
