i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
