She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
