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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me

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• (518): View more from New York

  Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about

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• (281): View more from Texas

  If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.

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• (+34): View more from Spain

  Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.

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