everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize