You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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