is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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