i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
