The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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