dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
