I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
