you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
