Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize