It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
