$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
