In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
