I'm drive I can fine osifer
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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