i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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