and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just puked most of my soul out..
tell me about the eggs
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