He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize