R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
