I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
They took my balls.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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