and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize