The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
