Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
