The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
