my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
