we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
then he tried to convert me to islam
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
