please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have feelings that need drinking.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
