So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
