you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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