Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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