Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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