Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
