he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
