Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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