it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
